A Countdown To Whodunnit
by Carbuncle
Summary: After Aeris strikes it lucky, she makes a large number of her friends very, very angry...
1. Default Chapter Title

FINAL FANTASY VII  
  
'A Countdown To Whodunnit'  
aka  
'Who Shot Ms. Gainsborough?'  
  
"Ah, isn't a wonderful day Red?", sighed Aeris while gazing up at the sky.  
  
"Yes. It is a most excellent day.", Red XIII agreed. "Um, Aeris? Can I ask you a question?"  
  
"Sure Red, but can you hold on until I finish this here?", Aeris said while bending down and digging a small hole into the soil ground with her trowel.  
  
Aeris and Red XIII had decided to spend the day in Aeris's garden outside her house in Midgar city. The sun was beating down and Aeris was decorating her flower bed with pretty flowers.  
  
"Now, what was it you wanted to say?", she smiled.  
  
"Remember that time we were trapped in Shin-Ra HQ and Hojo wanted to..."  
  
Red XIII's words were interrupted by the sound of something rumbling underground.  
  
"What's that?", wondered Aeris.  
  
Cloud and Tifa approached. Red XIII bounded towards them.  
  
"Cloud! Tifa! Get out of here! I think it may be an earthquake!", he screamed. "Aeris! Over here!"  
  
But it was too late. All of a sudden, a huge amount of oil shot out of the ground, knocking Aeris to the floor.  
  
"Oh my God! They killed Aeris!", screamed Tifa.  
  
"No!", yelled Red XIII. "Oh Aeris! Now I'll never get the chance to tell you that I lov-"  
  
He suddenly stopped talking as a black figure emerged from the garden. The party got into their fighting stance.  
  
"Blurgh!", the figure coughed. It was Aeris, covered in oil. "Heh! Looked like I struck oil!"  
  
Just then, out of nowhere, appeared two oil miners. They looked very pleased.  
  
"Ah, what a sight!", one of them commented.  
  
"Who are you?", asked Cloud.  
  
"Allow myself to introduce myself. I'm Locko, and this is my associate, Gerimo. We're from a well known oil company, whose name we can't give for legal reasons. We'd like to buy your newly discovered oil. We'd pay an awful lot of gil, sir."  
  
"Hey! How did you guys get here so quick?", asked an angry Tifa.  
  
"Ahem! May I remind you that this is *my* oil! Sure, what the hey, I'll sell!", Aeris smirked.  
  
"Thanks a lot sucker, uh, I mean, friend!", giggled the oil worker.  
  
The following week, Aeris was worth a cool 50,000 gil. She was the richest girl in the slums.  
  
"Hey Aeris, can I have 2500 gil to buy some new materia?", asked Yuffie.  
  
"Hmmm... um, no!", said a smug Aeris.  
  
"Aeris, can I borrow 600 gil to get some new potions?", questioned Barrett. "I'll pay ya back!"  
  
"Hmmm... um, no!", replied Aeris.  
  
"Say, Aeris, can I have 30 gil to get new make-up?", Tifa wondered.  
  
"Hmmm... um, no!", gurgled Aeris.  
  
"That's it! I'm calling a group meeting!", screamed Cloud getting up from his barstool.  
  
The whole party made their way into the basement of Seventh Heaven.  
  
"Okay, Aeris, we're all a bit fed up with your attitude!"  
  
"What attitude, Cloud?", sniffed Aeris while smoking an expensive looking cigar.  
  
"Ever since you got rich, you been actin' all smug. Y'know, like you were better than us or somethin'!", snarled Barrett.  
  
"Well, first off Barrett... I am better than you guys. I'm rich!"  
  
"Yeah, a rich bitch!", Yuffie mumbled.  
  
"I may be a rich bitch, but at least I'm not out for everything I can get! All you guys ever do now is bug me for money! And I'm sick of it! I'm outta here!"  
  
Aeris stormed out of the room in an angry rage.  
  
"You people make me sick! I thought you were my friends!", she cried.  
  
The whole party stared at one another.  
  
"I hate that ancient! Let's kill her!", Yuffie shrieked, while pulling out a small pistol from her pocket.  
  
"Hey! Where did you get that gun, Yuffie?", asked Cloud.  
  
"Eh, I have my resources!", she scoffed. "Now I wanna use it!"  
  
"Yeah! Let's pop her a new ass!", Barrett agreed, cocking his gun arm.  
  
"Stop!", shouted Cloud raising his hands. "How could you all say those things?! Aeris is one of our best friends! I agree with her, we were out for everything we could get! We took advantage just cause she had cash!"  
  
"...Aw, hell. Y'know what?", grumbled Cid, also pulling out a gun. "Death to Aeris!"  
  
"Yep! I'm with ya! Just lemme get myself a gun!", bloated Cait Sith.  
  
"You can't afford a gun, Cait Sith! Not on what Dio is paying you!", Cloud replied.  
  
"Sure I can! I'm 2000 gil better off!", he smirked.  
  
"Its his hot cat raise!", added Yuffie.  
  
"Sorry Cloud! But someone has to teach Ms. Moneybags a lesson!", Barrett growled.  
  
"Wait! Come back!", screamed Cloud, as Barrett, Cid, Yuffie and Cait Sith ran out of the room. "Geez, I think it's kinda weird that those guys all had new guns. Do you think they planned this?"  
  
"Oh my! We have to stop them Cloud!", paniced Red XIII.  
  
"Yes. Come on Tifa. Tifa?"  
  
"Hey, wh-where's Tifa?", stuttered Red XIII. "Did she leave with the others?"  
  
Cloud and Red XIII left Seventh Heaven to search for the mad mob of crazed killers. They walked through the dark slums of Midgar. A black shadow quickly rushed past them. It was too quick to identify so they carried on. Everything was peaceful... until a loud gun-shot shook their world.  
  
"What was that?!", gasped Red XIII.  
  
"It-it sounded like a gun-shot!", Cloud replied in a shaky voice.  
  
"No...", weeped Red XIII.  
  
The pair looked at each other and ran off down the street. Once they turned the corner into the alley, their hearts sank...  
  
There was Aeris... She was lying next to a trash can, and she was covered in blood.  
  
"Aeris! Who-who did this to you?!", Cloud cried.  
  
"Cloud...", she slurred. "It was... it was..."  
  
Aeris fainted, presumably dead, on the floor.  
  
"Oh my God! They killed Aeris!", screamed Red XIII.  
  
"But who? Who killed her?", muttered Cloud.  
  
TO BE CONTINUED...  
  
Who Shot Aeris?  
Well, just for the record, it wasn't me! But do you have any idea who might have killed this sweet young woman? There is a clue somewhere in the story, I swear! And if you read it *very carefully* you will know the answer! Please, if you don't review the story, could you at least write down who you think shot her? Your suggestion will not influence my final decision at all. I have already written the next part and I will not change it. If you correctly guess who did the deal, then consider yourself an amazing person. Like I said, there is a clue somewhere in the story, so if you didn't find it, then read it again.  
Thank you!  
By the way, you will *kick* yourself when you discover the identity of the killer. The answer really is that simple! 


	2. A Countdown To Whodunnit

FINAL FANTASY VII  
  
'A Countdown To Whodunnit'  
aka  
'Who Shot Ms. Gainsborough?' (The Exciting Conclusion)  
  
"Urgh...", groaned Barrett as he lifted his head off the bar.  
  
"Good morning Barrett! Looks like you had a little too much to drink last night.", said a voice which echoed through his mind.  
  
"Ae-Aeris?", he mumbled while trying to focus on the shadow infront of him.  
  
"Of course, silly!", she smiled.  
  
"But-But you're dead?!", he gasped.  
  
"Dead?! Don't be stupid! How can I be dead if I'm standing right here?"  
  
"Oh! What a relief! So you weren't shot?!", he sighed.  
  
"Shot?!", Aeris exclaimed. "Oh... whoops! Yes, I believe I was. This might be a good time to tell you that this is just a dream. Sorry to confuse you like this!"  
  
"Argh!", Barrett screamed, waking up with a start.  
  
He was lying on the floor of Seventh Heaven surrounded by empty beer cans. He picked himself up off the floor and shook his head.  
  
"Aeris...", he mumbled. "Oh no! What have I done?!"  
  
Cloud and Red XIII were at Midgar General Hospital. They had been there all night, watching over Aeris's bedside. The young woman had been through a terrible ordeal and she was now in a deep coma.  
  
"She looks awful Cloud... So lifeless.", cried Red XIII.  
  
"Huh?", grumbled Cloud. "Oh, sorry. I didn't hear you. Y'know this porno mag is pretty graphic."  
  
"Cloud! We're supposed to be caring for Aeris! Giving her some mental support!", shouted Red XIII.  
  
"I know! I know! I just wanna read porn while I'm caring!", Cloud whailed.  
  
Just then a policeman walked into the room. He looked strangely familiar.  
  
"This is what happens when people get pissed off!", he sighed.  
  
"Hey, don't I know you from somewhere?", asked Cloud.  
  
"No...", choked the officer.  
  
"I do! I do know you!", giggled Cloud. "You're that guy from the Gold Saucer! The one that I defeated in combat in 'A Countdown To Confusion', right?!"  
  
"Ergh! Yes, that is correct.", he grumbled. "I'm Chris, the least you can do is remember my name!"  
  
"Yeah, didn't you used to be in SOLDIER?", Cloud wondered.  
  
"Used to be... until I lost my job at the Gold Saucer, and SOLDIER didn't see a future for me anymore! So I had to become the next best thing."  
  
"A cop?", Red XIII mumbled.  
  
"Yeah! A cop! A'ight! Now, I'm afraid I'm gonna have to ask you some questions! One, where were you last night at 9:00pm?! And two, did you shoot this young girl?!", growled Chris.  
  
"We did not shoot her. But we do have a few suggestions on who did."  
  
"Cloud!", shouted Red XIII. "Are you really going to rip on our friends?!"  
  
"With-holding evidence is an arrestable offence!", Chris belowed.  
  
"Okay, Barrett Wallace, Cid Highwind, Yuffie Kisaragi and Tifa Lockheart.", gurgled Red XIII.  
  
"Tifa?! Oh, no I don't think she's capable of attempted murder! And you forgot to mention Cait Sith, he was part of the mad mob too!", Cloud said helpfully.  
  
"Mad mob?! Nobody mentioned a mad mob!", Chris gasped. "And you say all these people were involved?"  
  
"Yes, but, I don't think any one of them would do something like th-"  
  
"Thanks for your help! I'll be in touch!", Chris interrupted.  
  
Barrett was sitting in Seventh Heaven, drowning his sorrows when the police arrived.  
  
"Barrett Wallace?", questioned Chris.  
  
"Yes, that's me."  
  
"You're under arrest for the attempted murder of Aeris Gainsborough. You do not have to say anything... aw, hell, you know the drill!", smirked Chris.  
  
Meanwhile, back at the hospital, Cloud and Red XIII were still waiting for Aeris to come round.  
  
"There's no doubt about it Red! One of our buddies shot Aeris!"  
  
"How can you tell? She may have been shot by some escaped criminal or something. It doesn't make sense.", thought Red XIII.  
  
"Of course it makes sense. Remember how pissed they were?"  
  
  
"I hate that ancient! Let's kill her!", Yuffie shrieked.  
  
"Yeah! Let's pop her a new ass!", Barrett agreed.  
  
"Yep! I'm with ya! Just lemme get myself a gun!", bloated Cait Sith.  
  
"You can't afford a gun, Cait Sith!"  
  
"Sure I can! I'm 2000 gil better off!", he smirked.  
  
"Its his hot cat raise!", added Yuffie.  
  
  
"Yeah, but that still doesn't necessarily mean *they* did it!", Red XIII commented.  
  
Suddenly, Aeris woke with a huge start.  
  
"Tifa!", she screamed. "Tifa Lockheart!"  
  
Tifa had been walking the streets all night. She had a lot on her mind, but as she approached Seventh Heaven, her whole world turned upside down. A selection of citizens had gathered with flamming torches and garden rakes. They advanced towards her shouting obscene language.  
  
"Find anything Red?", asked Cloud while searching a trash can.  
  
"Nothing.", Red XIII sighed.  
  
They had both left the hospital for the alley in which Aeris was shot, to try to find anything that would help identify the real shooter and clear Tifa's name, who was now the prime suspect.  
  
"We'll have to just give up and go... hey, what's this?!", exclaimed Cloud. "It's a... piece of fluff..."  
  
Tifa had managed to escape the murderous crowd, and hid in the hospital. She decided to confront Aeris once and for all.  
  
"Tifa?!", yelled Aeris, as Tifa walked in the room. "Tifa Lockheart!"  
  
"That's right Aeris... How are you feeling?"  
  
"Tifa! Tifa Lockheart! Tifa!", she shrieked.  
  
"Huh?", said a frustrated Tifa. "I don't have time for your nonsense! It's time to take care of you!"  
  
Tifa advanced on Aeris. The bedroom door swung open. The crowd of angry people, including the policeman and Cloud's friends, advanced on Tifa.  
  
"Hold it right there, Ms. Lockheart!", shouted the cop, while pulling out his gun.  
  
"Stop!", yelled Cloud and Red XIII while bursting into the room. "Tifa didn't shoot Aeris! And we can prove it!"  
  
"We got all the evidence we need right here, thank you very much!", laughed Chris the cop.  
  
"No, he's right. Tifa didn't shoot me.", coughed Aeris, who was now talking normally.  
  
"Well, if Tifa didn't do it, then who did?", wondered Barrett.  
  
"If you all just shut the hell up then maybe I can tell you!", Aeris groaned. "Now, the one who shot me was..."  
  
Everyone in the room looked very nervous, even Cloud and Red XIII.  
  
"...Ahh! Ahh! Ca-Cait Sith!", she screamed.  
  
"Argh!", yelled Cait Sith. "Its true! Its true! I shot her! I did it!"  
  
"Explain yourself cat!", growled Cloud.  
  
"Okay, but only cause I think you guys deserve to know the truth...  
  
  
I left Seventh Heaven and started my long search for Aeris. But before I could do that, I needed a gun, so I went to the local gun store and bought a small pistol with my 2000 gil pay rise. No waiting period for animals, see? Anyway, I wandered down through the main streets until I saw Aeris run into the back alley. I quickly gave chase, knowing that this would be my chance. But alas, the alley way was too small for my old moogle, so I dumped it next to a rusty trash can. Without the moogle, I was so much more quicker on my feet, so I dashed like the wind until I caught up to Aeris again. She turned around when she heard me coming, she smiled and looked very happy to see me, I guess she thought I was coming to comfort her. I decided that shooting her would be wrong, so I threw the gun over my shoulder. Unfortunately, it discharged and then... well, I paniced. I wanted to help her, but my gut feeling told me to get the hell outta there, so I ran as fast as I could into the streets.  
  
  
And that's pretty much my story..."  
  
"Good God!", exclaimed Chris.  
  
"Cait Sith...", whispered Aeris. "I... I... Officer! Arrest that cat!"  
  
"What?! Yeah, right! No jury in the world is gonna convict a cat! Well... maybe Junon.", Chris snickered.  
  
As everyone began to leave the room, Cloud and his friends confronted Cait Sith.  
  
"Uh, it's not like she died or anything... so I guess we should just carry on as normal?!", smirked Cait Sith.  
  
"...I wanted to kill her too. I don't blame you.", smiled Yuffie.  
  
"Me either. I woulda done the same thing if I'd found her, only worse!", Cid chuckled.  
  
"Argh! I can't believe you guys! You really think that badly of me?!", Aeris complained. "Well let me do you all a favour!"  
  
She grabbed a gun from Officer Chris, put it to her head, and pulled the trigger.  
  
"Oh my God! Aeris... killed... herself!", screamed Tifa.  
  
"You... beast?", Cloud wondered.  
  
THE END__________  
  
Okay, so it was Cait Sith. Did I cheat? Did I mislead you? No, I didn't, all the clues were there, well, at least two. The major clue is found in Part One. Think back to Yuffie's comment when Cloud said Cait Sith couldn't afford a gun... She said, and I quote, "Its his hot cat raise!". Are you up on your anagrams? Because if you are then you'll know that "Its his hot cat raise!" translates as "Cait Sith shot Aeris!".  
So congratulations to Marco, for being the only person to get it right. How did you do it?!  
Thank you all for playing! 


End file.
